Oct. 4th, 2010
"We are excited to announce that the Vaughn family will grow from 4 to 5 in May, 2011! Although we were surprised ( a great surprise!), He is not. He knew this child before it was formed in the womb. (Jeremiah 1:5)
I will have to be honest. I have been extremely worried. I suffered an ectopic pregnancy before SaraGrace, and for some reason could not shake the fact that something is going to happen this time. I have cried, lost sleep, and prayed and prayed and prayed, like 4 to 5 times an hour. Finally, I stopped worrying long enough to listen to what God had to say...SaraBeth, if you’re not trusting me, you’re trusting someone or something. Are you really going to trust Satan over me?"
Oct. 13th, 2010
"I went in for a second ultrasound due to some complications I have been having. It took the tech a while to find the baby, but she finally did. While it did have a heartbeat, it hasn’t grown like it should in the past two weeks. She also found a blood clot in my uterus. All of these findings came to one diagnosis…threatened miscarriage."
Oct. 19th, 2010
"When Amy (the ultrasound lady) did her thing, she found a PERFECT healthy baby with a strong heartbeat of 182 (a girl, possibly?) There was no clot to be found ANYWHERE! The baby measured 7 weeks 6 days, and looked exactly like it was supposed to."
Nov. 2nd, 2010
"Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I knew deep down this one was going to be different. I was scared in a lot of ways because you just don’t know what God’s plans are. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster to say the least. But God has been faithful, and proven His power over and over."
Nov. 16th, 2010
"I just wanted to let you know the outcome of our doctors appointment yesterday. It was our first appointment with the perinatologist at Shands. They performed a level 2 ultrasound. The definite diagnosis of our baby BOY is that he has suffered from Amniotic Band Syndrome. This is a condition in which the inner amniotic membrane ruptured at some point, and in an effort to fuse back together, became tangled within the trunk (from the chest to the pelvis) of our baby. Once the bands are fused back together, they constrict and pull, which ultimately has left all of the organs exposed, including the heart and the lungs. This is a very severe case, with no treatment option.
The doctor gave us only one option, which was to terminate. We do not feel that is an option for us. We have decided to carry our little boy until God sees fit to take him home. Obviously we are devastated to say the least. However, we are holding on to the fact that His plan is always perfect. We know that He has a purpose for our baby, no matter how short his life may be. Please just pray for us that we will have the peace that can come only from Him. These next few weeks are going to be tough, but we know the love of our Savior will sustain us."
Nov. 19th, 2010
"It has been only 4 days since we got the news of our baby. It seems like an eternity! But we are clinging to Jesus and all the things we have to be thankful for."
Dec. 8th, 2010
"Yesterday was a tough day. I have had a really good two weeks, and have been overwhelmed with peace and strength, but yesterday was a breakdown. We had an ultrasound appointment. I wanted so badly to include our baby on our Christmas cards this year, so they scheduled another ultrasound. Amy, our ultrasound tech, is AMAZING!"...
"I asked Amy to confirm that it really was a Mack. Guess what! It's a GIRL! So Mack is now Faith Mackenzie Vaughn. Rob picked out the name Faith, because that is the only thing that keeps us going."...
"I find myself in a place between having faith in God that He can heal our baby girl, and also having faith in God that even if it is not His plan that our child be healed, He is the same as He was before this child came to be. I know that He is the Great Physician, and that He could heal her in an instant. But I also know that His plan may be different than my plan for our child. And if it is, it doesn’t mean He loves us or our daughter any less. In fact, He has confidence in us that we can tell His story."
Jan. 20, 2011
"We have had a great week! It started with a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday, and Faith had a good strong heartbeat. We have set the date of our c-section for May 11th. Wow! That will be here before you know it. While I was in there, I scheduled an ultrasound for Wednesday morning."...
"Wednesday morning, I picked up Amy and went to my appointment. If you’ll remember, the last one was very hard. I didn’t share this with you then, but I can share with you now. As a symptom/side effect of this limb-body-wall complex (Amniotic Band Syndrome), the baby typically shows signs of scoliosis. Faith had a SEVERE case of it. She was folded almost completely in half, with her legs over her face. However, yesterday, God showed us how he works, even in the smallest of details. I was prepared for the worst! But, when Faith showed her little face on that screen, her body had been straightened out. Her legs and feet were where they were supposed to be. What a blessing! We could see all of her beautiful perfect little face, and I just thanked God right then and there for being there with me. I am also excited to report that from the beginning, she has measured far behind where she should be. Yesterday, she was only measuring 1 week behind. While it does still appear that her diagnosis is the same, God has worked in some miraculous ways!!! Her stomach and bladder appeared to be normal this time, which was far different than the last."
Jan 28th, 2011
"Our appointment yesterday was met with mixed emotions."...
"As our baby appeared on the screen, she was kicking around like a ninja. We got some really cute pictures of her face and hands."...
"She looked pretty much the same as last week, EXCEPT her heart is definitely in her chest cavity, though it is not covered by anything in the front. The consensus last week was that it was on the outside. It also looked perfectly healthy, with ALL FOUR CHAMBERS. God is GOOD!!!"...
"I felt the urging over and over to ask and make sure we were definitely looking at a fatal diagnosis. “Are we sure there is nothing that can be done?” He thought for a moment. He explained that the main issue is not that the organs aren’t there, or that they aren’t developed properly. Because they are all there, and perfectly developed. But that it would be really hard to close up the chest and abdomen once they put all of the organs back in place. She doesn’t have a diaphragm, so they would have to construct one. But he did offer this…
I go back in March. He will scan me again, then conference with his peers and pediatric surgeons to get their opinion on what could be done if anything. The good news is that we never even thought this was possible. Though this would seem like great news, it is met with great anxiety. Will we know what implications will come with any surgeries should we decide to go that route? We do not want to put our daughter through anything that would prolong any pain or suffering. Our number one priority is to glorify God in all that we do, and we do not want to interfere with what He has planned for her life. So we are now desperately seeking guidance from the Lord as to what we should do. Please rejoice with us as we know that God is working miracles in the little things. But also pray for us as we seek what God would have us do in the life of our daughter."
March 2nd, 2011
"We had an appointment at Shands yesterday, and God has been working many more miracles on her little body. Her spine looks much better than it did 4 weeks ago. It now appears she is only affected from her underarms to just below the chest cavity, versus the pelvis as previously diagnosed. He also pointed out that most of the abdominal contents have “settled back into the body.” Folks, those organs haven’t settled into the body, the Great Physician has been at work and proving to us and to these doctors that He will have the final say! We even heard the doctor say that she did not appear to be as extreme as they had originally diagnosed. His feeling is that the outcome will ultimately be the same, because she doesn’t have anything covering her chest to create a pressure system for her lungs to work. She does not have a sternum, and they are not 100% sure that she has a diaphragm. But they are sure that the heart is within the chest cavity. But he gave us the name of the surgeon he will be meeting with, and is going to do his best to meet this week.
But…my sister, Kiss, works at Shands and miraculously ran into our named pediatric surgeon this morning (again, God is with us and working diligently). She introduced herself, then proceeded to tell him about our Faith. He said that without looking at our films yet, it sounds as if she may suffer from Pentalogy of Cantrall. This birth defect has a series of 5 things that can ultimately be wrong: the organs on the outside of the body, little to no sternum, little to no diaphragm, no pericardium (the membrane surrounding the heart) and possible heart defect. He said he believes that all of these defects can be fixable, but he would need to look at our case. He gave her his number and had me call and schedule a consultation with him. He will hopefully meet with our perinatologist tomorrow. My sister was quick to inform him that the last thing we want for our daughter is to prolong any pain or suffering, or for her to have no quality of life. He was thankful she shared that with him, and said he would be in contact with us.
I share all of this to let you know that while this is all very exciting, it comes with some great decisions that are to be made. Some would say it gives false hope, others say it draws out the grieving process. But I want to say that our hope is in the Lord Jesus Christ. Not a doctor, not a cure, not a fix. He will ultimately determine the outcome of Faith’s life! And we are grateful to Him that He is faithful. He knows what’s best for her, even better than we do. If He sees fit to take her to Heaven, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt He has been working through her and in her the entire time. We have seen with our own two eyes, the miracles that have taken place in her little body, and no one can argue that it was only God! Even the doctors!!!
Our prayer is now that we will have a clear direction in decisions that may be coming our way. God has been faithful to provide us guidance and peace thus far, and I know He will not stop doing that now. We want His will for her life and for ours, and we are willing to be a part of whatever He decides."
March 3rd, 2011
" I know it’s hard to believe, but we got even more great news last night. My perinatologist (Dr. D) called while I was in choir practice, so I called him back once I got in the car. He has met with the pediatric surgeon (Dr. K), and the chief doctor over the NICU, and they are very encouraged at the thought this may very well be Pentalogy of Cantrall!"...
"But Dr. K needs more information to make an exact diagnosis, so I am going for a fetal MRI to get an exact picture of what Faith’s little body looks like."
"Dr. D was quick to say that this prognosis would still be guarded, but far less grim than the Amniotic Band Syndrome. He said he didn’t want to give us any false hope until we could get the MRI. I just told him that God is proving everyday that He, and only He, is in control. If indeed we go to the MRI to find out our diagnosis remains the same, we will be confident that we have done everything we can to be informed, and we will be thankful for the opportunity to gather more information. I will update once I know when the MRI will take place."
Mach 15th, 2011
"We received the preliminary report yesterday from our MRI. I wanted to wait until we heard from the Pediatric Surgeon, as it seems as though he is the final MEDICAL authority on our case. We have not heard from him yet, but I did want to share what we found out...
Dr. D called me yesterday morning, after he had been out of the country all last week. His tone seemed very encouraging, but it seemed as though I held my breath throughout the entire conversation. So here is what the report showed:
•Faith’s head and brain look perfect! They are normal and healthy. Praise the Lord!
•Her spine is still curved. They thought she might have spina bifida, but her spinal cord is healthy and intact. Therefore, she is not paralyzed, and they can treat her scoliosis at a later date. Praise the Lord!
•She has a diaphragmatic hernia, which they believe is caused by the pentalogy of cantrall. She does have a partial diaphragm, and it is only missing on the left side. Praise the Lord!
•Her right lung is perfectly healthy and normal, and her left lung is compressed. This is caused by the abdominal organs that have pushed up through the chest cavity. Dr. D says that if they can get those organs resituated, that lung should heal and function as it should. Praise God!
•Her heart is 100% inside the chest cavity, and is PERFECTLY HEALTHY. No heart defects were detected. Thank you, Jesus!
•Her right kidney is healthy, but they could not see her left one. Dr. D explained that there are tons of people walking this earth with only one healthy kidney. He did not feel like this was a huge obstacle. Amen!
•Some of her abdominal contents are still outside the body. Dr. D wasn’t too terribly concerned with that as well. Praise God!
Regardless of what Dr. K reports, we will continue to pray for God’s will to be done in the life of our Faith. He’s still knitting her together, piece by piece, and what a testament she is to the power of our Father and the power of prayer."
April 5th, 2011
"Yesterday, our hopes of bringing home a baby girl were shattered yet again! We met with Dr. K, believing that we would be making plans for surgery, for her care in the NICU, going over the long list of questions I had prepared for him, so that I could be prepared for what this life had to give our daughter. None of OUR plans were even heard. Dr. K was there to tell us that he had reviewed our MRI, and he believed that the abdominal repair would be much too great for Faith to survive it. He said that his life is saving babies that cannot be saved. But nothing in him believed our Faith is “fixable.” I felt as if the calendar had turned back to November 15th, 2010 when we first received the news that our child did not stand a chance. So much up and down, hope and no hope, and we sat there once again with the wind knocked out of us and all we had once hoped for."
April 18th, 2011
"We have been asked some tough questions lately, and frankly, I haven’t known how to answer them. I have lost some sleep over it, because I wanted to make sure that in our efforts to be obedient to God, that we NEVER place doubts with anyone of the power of our Lord.
One of the things we have been struggling with is about praying for a miracle, and believing that God is going to perform it. There is a difference between believing God CAN perform a miracle, and knowing that He is GOING TO DO IT.
As a parent, obviously our heart’s desire is to bring home a perfectly happy, healthy baby girl, who will aggravate SaraGrace in the way she has aggravated her brother. I would love to be able to look forward (or dread) the sleepless nights, bringing her to work with me everyday, trying to make up with her what I have lacked with the others.
But one thing we desire ABOVE ALL…..above our heart’s desires, above our need to rescue our baby, above the gut feeling that the world needs to see a miracle, above the fact that so many people are praying for our sweet daughter….we desire to trust God with everything we have, that His will is perfect, and that HE will get the glory in all of the details of May 19th."
May 9th, 2011
"They did an ultrasound to check on Faith, and see what she is up to. She has gotten soooooo BIG! We watched as she opened and closed her little mouth, and it was just so sweet. They were also able to watch her do some practice breathing, which is something they didn’t know she would be able to do. Dr. D showed us all of the little pieces of vernix floating around, and told us that was a good indication that her lungs were fully developed. Now I don’t think they can tell anything about the compressed lung on an ultrasound, so that is something we will have to wait and see about."
May 12th, 2011"Dear Jesus,
Help us to cling to you and your word as we find our way the next few days. Thank you for your promises, and for your mercy and grace, though we don’t deserve one minute of it. Help us to look to you for guidance, and not be swayed by the ways of the world. As your word tells us that we cannot understand the work of God, help us to trust completely in you, regardless if we understand or not.
Amen."
May 17th, 2011"We are now into the last 48 hours of my pregnancy. There are days that it seems like I have been pregnant forever, yet on the other hand, it’s hard to believe that in less than two days we are going to look into those sweet (probably blue if I had to bet) eyes for the first time. I am filled with so many emotions, yet I have a peace knowing that God has already orchestrated all of the details of Thursday."...
"Yesterday was tough. It was my last doctor’s appointment. As I was driving to get the kids, I was listening to my Selah cd, and the song “Oh Draw Me Lord” came on. I just cried out to Jesus asking Him to draw us closer to Him during the next few days. I begged for Him to give us the strength and the courage for what lies before us. I asked Him to take the nerves from me, so that we will not lose focus on what He is going to do. And can I tell you, I had an immediate peace just come over me. He just whispered in my ear, “I’m right here. I haven’t gone anywhere.” I know the next days, even weeks will not be easy, but I do know that God will carry us through them. We have NO idea what will happen on Thursday, but He has promised that He does."
These posts really just scratch the surface of the rollercoaster that Sarabeth has been on the past 9 months. But through it all she has kept hope in Faith and all that the Lord has planned for her. I am so proud of her and her wittness through this trying time...and I know that her Heavenly Father is proud too! So now you are up to date and you can join us as we wait a pray!
Thanks for sharing this Christina! I will continue to check SaraBeth's blog tomorrow for an update! What amazing friends you are to drive and be there for them! Praying for you all tomorrow!!!
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